Practice Patience
Sometimes I feel like I am learning things freshmen should be learning, but..as a junior.
and I don't mean in the academic sense...but in the life, day-to-day sense.
Not too big of a deal, I know, but what is this life I live? What is this life we all live?!
I've made so many, maybe even, too many mistakes in these past two years and wait -- I continue to make them. I hate lying to people. I hate forgetting that I am less than perfect and that the very same characteristics I criticize in others, I exemplify myself. I want to be strong for myself, but the pressure to be strong for others is beginning to take its toll. Mainly, I have no idea. Patience, I tell myself. Practice patience. Immediate satisfaction, flattery, flirtation...does it mean anything? It's cute and fun, but it is so trivial and it pulls you in. Don't be pulled in. Practice patience.
Oh! but Sometimes I just want to detach myself from anything that requires interacting with humans and just exist and take naps and eat delicious food and drink ice cold limeade with heart-shaped ice take steaming hot showers and change into PINK sweats and a tank and no bra and take off my socks while lying in bed cos that's the best way to do it and curl up to a fascinating book to the sweet sound of ray and just...that's it.
OKAY, that would get old after awhile, but...sometimes. I just don't want to have to think of how I need to be or how I am. or...anything to do with emotions morals and values. life and death. big and bigger...hard questions that more likely than not..cannot and will not be answered in my lifetime or man's.
I just don't care.
(but of course I do)
and I don't mean in the academic sense...but in the life, day-to-day sense.
Not too big of a deal, I know, but what is this life I live? What is this life we all live?!
I've made so many, maybe even, too many mistakes in these past two years and wait -- I continue to make them. I hate lying to people. I hate forgetting that I am less than perfect and that the very same characteristics I criticize in others, I exemplify myself. I want to be strong for myself, but the pressure to be strong for others is beginning to take its toll. Mainly, I have no idea. Patience, I tell myself. Practice patience. Immediate satisfaction, flattery, flirtation...does it mean anything? It's cute and fun, but it is so trivial and it pulls you in. Don't be pulled in. Practice patience.
Oh! but Sometimes I just want to detach myself from anything that requires interacting with humans and just exist and take naps and eat delicious food and drink ice cold limeade with heart-shaped ice take steaming hot showers and change into PINK sweats and a tank and no bra and take off my socks while lying in bed cos that's the best way to do it and curl up to a fascinating book to the sweet sound of ray and just...that's it.
OKAY, that would get old after awhile, but...sometimes. I just don't want to have to think of how I need to be or how I am. or...anything to do with emotions morals and values. life and death. big and bigger...hard questions that more likely than not..cannot and will not be answered in my lifetime or man's.
I just don't care.
(but of course I do)
posted by Justine Lee at 12:52 PM
0 comments
