All I know is
i've been confused recently about things relating to love, like, and relationship.
i want to say that i love this person...because i think i actually might...a lot, but it isn't fair to me or to him to say it yet. because i don't want to have to take it back so soon. so many decisions are made based on fear and on pride. no one really wants to swallow their pride...it hurts, it's vulnerable and uncomfortable. some swallow it everyday because they have to or because they feel like they would be betraying themselves if they didn't. pride-swallowing i see as putting oneself out there..saying exactly what one wants how one wants it...actually that sounds more like command and confidence..hmm. maybe i have no clue what i'm talking about.
all i know is, i wish people took more risks. i wish people let love steer their lives more often than fear. i wish i could be with this guy and not have to worry about the extraneous, the details, the edges, and circumstances. i wish i only had to worry about what he and i feel.
maybe we don't even know each other. maybe i'm joking with myself and this isn't love. i don't know..but i do get this warm feeling inside that presses against my heart when i think about him and only when i think about him, nobody else. so while that may not translate to fated love, to an ultimate successful story of happily ever after, i think it does mean something, right? okay, good.
in any case, this summer is for me. to do what i want..to explore, to acheive, and to be. letting anything get in the way of that would be just tragic.
-justine
i want to say that i love this person...because i think i actually might...a lot, but it isn't fair to me or to him to say it yet. because i don't want to have to take it back so soon. so many decisions are made based on fear and on pride. no one really wants to swallow their pride...it hurts, it's vulnerable and uncomfortable. some swallow it everyday because they have to or because they feel like they would be betraying themselves if they didn't. pride-swallowing i see as putting oneself out there..saying exactly what one wants how one wants it...actually that sounds more like command and confidence..hmm. maybe i have no clue what i'm talking about.
all i know is, i wish people took more risks. i wish people let love steer their lives more often than fear. i wish i could be with this guy and not have to worry about the extraneous, the details, the edges, and circumstances. i wish i only had to worry about what he and i feel.
maybe we don't even know each other. maybe i'm joking with myself and this isn't love. i don't know..but i do get this warm feeling inside that presses against my heart when i think about him and only when i think about him, nobody else. so while that may not translate to fated love, to an ultimate successful story of happily ever after, i think it does mean something, right? okay, good.
in any case, this summer is for me. to do what i want..to explore, to acheive, and to be. letting anything get in the way of that would be just tragic.
-justine
posted by Justine Lee at 1:08 AM
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