Collide

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find, you and I collide
- Howie Day

everyone at college thinks i'm in love with Collide,
because at all of steve's room parties
i beg that it be played. that and i kept asking both andy
and steve to teach it to me on guitar.
that and i keep it on repeat more than any other song on
my playlist. It's on repeat right now,
as I type this. Steve really hates it. a hate so
intense it could only be spurred by envy.

i have to give credit where it's due. Christine was the first to
introduce me to the song like 2 years ago,
and i watched him, Howie Day, on Conan O'brien and thought
"hmm, not bad. " but it took me a few
years to finally appreciate the song. Vivek likes it too,
so I'm glad we can share that. Anyway,

why are songs so much more special when
you hear them played on the radio?
(rather than hearing them when you play it yourself)
today i was driving home from a solo lunch at le boulanger
 (remind me never to get swiss&ham, gotta stick to what i know i like)
and i saw this approximately 12 year old tanned middle-eastern
boy with a back pack on, who looked not even for a moment like
he was comfortable  in his oversized jeans and manly stride.  it made
me think. i usually find it so easy to criticize middle school and high
school kids for being superficial, flashy, immature, and for putting
 so much  effort into an image that will amount to
nothing.  but you have to realize that behind every pink short
 skirted lv bag carrying made up stick of
flesh and even behind every gangst limp walkin all black wearing
"bad assssssss," there's a person.
someone who is struggling pretty bad to keep up this act.
who is as insecure as you are. or i am.
or tom cruise is (and trust me tom cruise is mad insecure). 
who really wants that girl to notice him and
would really rather not have to pull up his fuckin pants every 5 seconds.

face it. we all went through that phase when going to the mall with
JUST our friends was sooooo cool when getting ready for a school dance
was an event. and when lilazn69boiee or aznswtzgurl637 were our
SNs. Fine, not all of us went through those exact phases. but putting
 an incredible amount of energy
into looking good or looking 'right' or looking cute or cool is a
general phase for many of us. I guess, those
who have experienced it, at the middle and high school levels,
 can and should be a little more
forgiving of those who are currently living it.  and while i am
very willing to argue the hell out of the point
that even just 1 year of college puts you at an entirely different
and more superior level than anyone who has
not finished any college, that isn't really fair. 
we all started at age 0. i guess you can only really criticize
your peers then. but why criticize when you can nap?

I'm done here.